Active Dad; Happy Kids

Commitment to Fatherhood Excellence

THE ACTIVE DAD

It breaks my heart- but I see it all the time. Walking into a home with the families I work with to see the kids acting batty or fighting and dad with a remote or controller in his hand- oblivious to the ensuing war that is all around him. Or "DAD CEO" as I call it-crunching the numbers and working on the laptop in the bedroom or office with real life passing him by with every click. 

I'm not bashing it either- I love my HALO and C,O.D. as much as the next guy- but at what point is our "presence" actually absence? How do we manage? 

It is the time of year that we make new resolutions and make changes for the better. Join with me to make a resolution. To be an active dad. To put away the phones, the devices, all the distractions during each night and be truly present with out children. To give them a dad that gives them great childhood memories. To commit to fatherhood excellence. Not perfection- but being a role model that they can count on and relate to.  

And C.O.D.? Only after bedtime ;) Have a great start to the new year guys. 

What is a Man Mission, and how do I do it with my son?

McCormick Man Missions. My son loves them. Chances to do something "important", valuable and to learn new skills. Credit to whoever came up with the term "man missions", I only heard it once and have since adopted it. But nonetheless it has become a valuable part of what it means to be a young man in the McCormick family.

A man mission is just that- when the boys do something that needs to be done. Running errands, chores together, painting the shed, helping out at the food pantry, changing oil, repairing something in the house. Other times they can be just a bonding time that we have together when you or I (try) to pass on special skills and the legacy of a strong manhood.

The reality is that it can be anything- a man mission is not set. What it must be in intentional. A special time or times that just dad and sons do together that creates teachable moments and strengthens the relationship. A time when dad intentionally lets go of the reigns and very patiently gives them to his son.

We are men, but it doesn't mean that we can't be creative. Take the time to pass on what you have learned about anything and teach it to your sons. They will only benefit; and will always have the special memory of your man missions together.

Until Next Time,
Alan

About the girls- They have their own times (the subject of another blog post of course, so stay tuned)

Five Crucial Things to Nail to Raise Your Daughter(s) Right

I look across the table at my beautiful little girl. She is a whopping four feet tall- which is just the right size to remember when she was little and be terrified at the same time about the teen years soon to come. We are on one of our Daddy/Daughter dates, and she's all dressed up. I am in amazement. Blonde hair, blue eyes and just the sweetest girl in the world. Wow, shes really starting to grow up, I think to myself. She looks back at me, just elated- knowing that right now I am all hers and she is all mine.

Suddenly it hits me- It won't always be this way! Someday she will look forward to a boyfriend, a husband taking her out. My chance to have this, my chance to continue to shape and mold her is slipping by. I remind myself that this is why every moment counts.

There are a lot of things to consider as a Dad. A lot of "To-Do's". A lot of "Not-to-Do's". There are lists a mile long, an infinite amount of website suggestions. But what are the crucial things, the critical things- that we can work at to ensure our little girls are getting what they need? Here is a list of Five Crucial Things to Nail to Raise Your Daughter(s) Right that I have come up with through reading, studying, and my personal/professional experience:

1.) Consistency
You would have thought that something about "love" would be first on the list- but instead its this big one. Whether you spank, don't spank, ground, don't ground, handle discipline or not- in regards to doing anything for your little princess just DO IT CONSISTENTLY. It's best for all kids to fully know and understand their roles, rules and expectations if we want them to be successful in life.

2.) Show Your Affection
Ah, there's the love one. Its vital for your little girl(s) to know what positive affection looks and feels like. No need to explain what happens when guys fail to come through on this one. Letting her know to the bottom of her heart that she is deeply and totally loved (regardless of anything else) is one of the best gifts you'll ever give her.

3.) Date Your Daughter
Along the same lines, if you can carve out time for work, the gym or football you can make some time for the girlie. Doesn't have to always be fancy, doesn't have to always cost a lot- but it DOES have to be just you and her. Set the stage for the future boyfriend, and teach her how guys should treat a lady. This includes opening the doors for her and pulling out the chair. But most importantly, make it fun and a treasured memory.

4.) Slow to Anger, Quick to Mercy
Solid as a rock, guys. When she drops that new watch in the tub at 3 or backs into a pole at 16. Play it cool. Life is about lessons, and the best one is this: Relationships are more valuable than stuff. Does it mean there can be no consequences? No. Keep it reasonable and related to what happened, but keep your cool. Nothing wrong in taking a break to calm down and think about it.

5.) Help Her Dream
Shes a girl, and she can be or do anything she want's to! Whether shes dreaming of being an astronaut or a housewife, get it on it. Dream together. Build lemonade stands, race bikes, be a sick person in a pretend doctors office. Let her know that the sky is the limit and shes got the kid of dad to walk with her in her aspirations!

For further reading, I recommend an excellent book- 52 Things Daughters Need From Their Dads, by Jay Payleitner.

Until Next Time,
Alan McCormick